Step by Step
by mcbway
Summary: Callie caught them. Addison knows. Derek may love Meredith, but is he really ready to let go of his wife?
1. Prologue

_Step by Step_

_Spoiler: End of Season 2_

_Disclaimer: Not mine!_

_A/N: Not sure if it's gonna be an Addek, guess it's going to be a suprise :D Reviews are always welcome _

* * *

**Step by Step - Prologue**

Tonight she would be sleeping in the on call room in the hospital, because she had nowhere to go. She couldn't go back to the trailer. She couldn't look at Derek ever again. Not after this night.

She had known as soon as she had seen him and Meredith. Her heart had broken the second when she had seen him glance at Meredith. That's why she had followed Richard. Richard hadn't seen the glances this evening, so there was no way that he would want to speak about that. She wanted to avoid that topic as long as possible. God, she was no better than Derek. Running away from her problems and not facing them. Addison sighed and turned around there was no way that she would be able to sleep at the moment. She stood up to get herself a glass of water. She longed for a drink, but she wouldn't drown her sorrow in alcohol. No, Addison was too proud to do things like that.

She lay down again, but the sleep wouldn't come. All she could see when she closed her eyes were Derek and Meredith. Meredith and Derek. She knew exactly what had happened in that room, while she and Finn had both been waiting for their lovers to come back.

The doors of the on call room opened and Callie Torres came into the room. "Dr. Shepherd, I thought you'd have gone home."

Home? She didn't have any home. It seemed that everyone in this hospital knew her name.

"Oh, sorry. I'm Callie Torres, orthopedics. I was looking for Dr. O'Malley."

"O'Malley's not here." She was just turning around when she saw Callie come nearer. Addison raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you somehow?"

"You seem tired, Dr. Shepherd. You should go home."

"To that damn trailer? The love shack of my bastard of husband?"

Callie was shocked. "You … you know what happened?"

Addison snorted. "I am not blind and certainly not dumb. I just had to look at him and see it. It was written all over his face. I didn't even have to look at her, to see her avoiding his gaze. I know the signs, Dr. Torres."

Callie sighed. She felt sorry for the redheaded doctor. "You can crash on my couch if you want. It's far more comfortable then those beds, I think." She smiled softly at Addison and waited patiently for an answer.

They were not even friends, but Addison admired Callie for her helpfulness. "Thank you."

They went past the room, where Derek had slept with Meredith. Addison turned to look through the opened door. No sign of anything that could hint to the lovemaking that had happened there only a few hours ago. No sign, but a little black slip.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself Dr. Shepherd." Callie warned the older woman and tried to lead her away.

"I have to. I want to know why."

"You won't find the answer in this room."

Addison hung her head. She hadn't even cried now. She had promised herself to stay strong. But it wasn't as easy as it should be. Their marriage had been over for so long now, but she hadn't seen it, or wanted to see it. "I know. I … just … there's her slip." She pointed at the black little thing, lying under the barrow. She picked it up and looked at it. Then she looked at Callie. "Is it because she's thinner than me? Or because her being smaller than me?"

Callie didn't answer. It was not her place to do so.

"I should've never come to Seattle. I came her and destroyed their relationship, like Godzilla."

"You're certainly not Godzilla."

"But Satan." Addie said. She put the panties in her purse. She would give them to Derek tomorrow. The same moment when she would give him the signed divorce papers.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N.: Thank you for the reviews. Still not sure if it's going to be Addek ...

* * *

**Shattered - Chapter 1**

"Nice flat." Addison commented after slipping out of her shoes.

Callie's face reddened. "I know it's not much, but it's enough for me. It's not a suite in a Hilton hotel, but its okay to live in."

"Dr. Torres …"

"Callie."

"Callie. I lived in a trailer. Compared with that your flat IS the Hilton."

The younger doctor smiled and then asked "When are you on?

Addison looked at her watch. It was three am. "Five hours."

"I guess you need your sleep?"

"I wouldn't be able to sleep for just a second. Do you have something to drink?"

Callie went to her mini-bar and opened it. "Scotch? Bourbon? Whiskey?"

Addison laughed. "I didn't mean alcohol, Callie. If I'd start drinking alcohol now, I wouldn't be able to stop. I'll take some water, please."

"Perhaps I should take water too." She went into her little kitchen and came with two water glasses. "Here. Let's sit on the couch."

Addison nodded and sat down. "So …"

"Yes?" It was awkward for both of them, for neither one new a topic they could speak about.

"When did you come to Seattle?"

"A few months ago." Again they fell silent. Callie watched Addison intently. She had never seen such a strong woman, but perhaps it was the shock which didn't let the tears fall.

Addison knew that Callie was staring and she also knew why, so she didn't say anything but let the other one watch her.

"How … how do you do it?"

"What?" The redhead raised a brow.

"Live with a man who longs for another woman."

Addison sighed and took a sip from her water. "When you're in love you do lots of silly things."

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"It hurts like hell. But I was the first to hurt him, so I said to myself: hey it's only fair for him to hurt me too. It's only fair for him to long after another woman, because I slept with his best friend."

"Does Dr. Shepherd know that you know?"

"Of course not. I told him that I have to stay in hospital because of one of my patients." She laughed. "Isn't it ironic? He fell for the same excuse as I did."

Callie closed her eyes. "I know how it feels to be with a man who lusts after another woman."

"O'Malley?"

"Yes. I told him I loved him and he didn't say anything back. Told me that he wants to mean it when he says it back."

"Seems only fair."

"Have you seen how he looks at a certain woman?" Callie raised one eyebrow. She would need a harder drink soon.

"You don't mean the same woman my husband lusts for, do you?"

"Oh yes, Meredith Grey. The unfulfilled dream for every man between twenty and fifty."

"It has to be a nightmare. Maybe I'll wake up and still be in New York."

"I wish so too." She drank her last few drops of water and stood up. "I'll bring you some blankets and a pillow."

"Thank you." Addison smiled at Callie. "Thank you for letting me crash here."

"You're welcome."

Both had made a new friend tonight.

Derek lay on his back and faced the ceiling of his trailer. It was so silent when Addison wasn't there. He felt lonely.

A few hours before he had slept with Meredith and Meredith had made a decision. She had chosen McVet over McDreamy, because McVet had plans and McDreamy had only a wife. Addison had gone with Richard and later stayed in the hospital because of a patient. Derek had just wanted to go home with his wife. It didn't matter that he couldn't have Meredith, he still had Addison. Better than nothing.

"Izzie? Izzie, open the door!" Alex and George were standing in front of Izzies door for half an hour now. "You have to let us in." They didn't even get an answer, all they could hear were sobs.

"Where are the girls when you need them?" George was desperate.

"Either she opens the door now or I'll break through it."

"It's three in the morning. It'd be the best to leave her alone for some time. And you and I, we need sleep. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

Alex sighed. He knew that George was right.

"You can crash on the couch."

"Thanks."

It was five minutes after eight and Addison looked after her first patient for the day. She had slept for three hours, but the wonders of make up had done a miracle with her eyes.

Few minutes later she walked down the corridor and crashed into someone. "Look where you're going." She said, but then she recognized the person who had run into her. "Derek!"

"Addie. How's your patient?"

Luckily she remembered her little excuse from yesterday and answered "She's fine."

Derek smiled at her and leaned forward to brush her lips with his, but before he could do this, she turned her head so that his lips only brushed her cheek. "What's up Addison?"

She didn't answer.

"Addie? What's wrong?"

Addison snorted. "Come with me!" She went down to her office and let him step in first. After she had closed her door, she got her purse. "Here, I think that belongs to your mistress." She threw him Meredith's black panties and waited for his reaction.

"What's that?"

She nearly exploded. "Don't play dumb on me, Derek. You know what that is, because you removed it from diverse body parts of Meredith Grey."

His eyes grew hard.

"I am not blind, Derek. I knew that you slept with her yesterday at the prom."

"So what? You screwed Mark back in New York. You are allowed to screw people, but I'm not? That's not fair, Addison."

"Not fair? When I slept with Mark our marriage wasn't working. You slept with Meredith while we tried to make our marriage work again. Did you really expect me to walk home with you after you screwed your intern? Do you really believe that I don't know that you made Meredith decide? And that she didn't choose you? What did you think when you asked me to go home? Oh my, Meredith's chosen Finn, but hey I still have my dumb wife Addison. She'll do anything because she still feels guilty for sleeping with Mark."

"Addison, you don't know what you are speaking of."

"Shut up, shut the f up." Addison went to her desk and got a few papers. "These are the divorce papers. I signed them this morning and you are going to sign them in front of me. Right now!" She gave him the papers and a pen.

"But, we can make it work again … now that Meredith has chosen Finn."

Addison shook her head. Why didn't he understand? "Derek, we tried that. You aren't in love with me anymore. You only stayed with me because you want to be a good guy, because you knew that I felt guilty because of Mark and that I would ignore every little bad thing you did. But I don't. I can't anymore."

"Addie!"

"Sign." Was the only word she said.

"Give me time."

"Derek we had eleven years. You had three years to see me again, to love me again, but you didn't. It's over Derek." She left the office and he signed.


End file.
